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Why Me?

On August 11, 1988, a star was born!

Not really… lol… BUT! I was born. I’m no star in the traditional sense of the word. Well,  I’m obviously not the astrological object that twinkles in the sky at night. I’m also not a celebrity defined by prominence and popularity. I’m just a simple girl #StraightOutta Newport, Arkansas (by way of Diaz). I was raised by two great parents alongside two awesome siblings. I went to school, and I went to church. I started kindergarten as best friends with three girls who are still some of my best friends today. We had lots of sleepovers and girl talks through the years.  In SmallTown, AR, our entertainment and activities include riding four-wheelers, back-roading, driving through the same few neighborhoods, meeting over a friend’s house, and the occasional party. Essentially, it was a fairly simple, run-of-the-mill upbringing.

I was fortunate enough to graduate high school in 2006, and I attended Ouachita Baptist University. College was a cool experience. I learned a lot both academically and spiritually. I didn’t realize how impressionable I was during that time (ages 18-22 are vital years), but I learned who I was and was going to be while in college. (More on that in another post.) After college, I went to law school at the University of Arkansas. (WPS!) After more molding and growing during those years, I graduated and began “real” adulthood with a career, responsibilities, etc. (Ugh…TAKE ME BACK TO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, PLLEEEAAASSSEEE!) LOL

Fast forward to the present…I just celebrated my 2_th birthday (MAN, I’m getting old!!), and, as I usually do, I reflect. In addition to spending time with friends and family commemorating another year of life, I usually experience a strong sense of nostalgia.

KP birthday

Birthday Behavior

These last couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking about my past, my purpose, and my future. Believe it or not, I’m a lawyer that tends to overthink [EVERYTHING]. 🙂 In the midst of my thoughts, I evaluate my mistakes; I strategize my next steps; and I analyze my journey. “WHY did I do that?! What can I do differently to get where I’d like to go? Am I where I want to be? When and how will this happen for me?!” (As you can see, I’m so very chill. ha!) Ultimately, all of my questions and concerns come down to a single concept – PURPOSE. Purpose is defined as “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”

What is the reason for my life? What is my PURPOSE?

God says, “I know what I’m doing; I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11.

Shhwwoooo! *wipes forehead* Burden lifted! Thanks, God! Since He has it all under control, we can just sit back and nonchalantly allow life to happen, right? WRONG. It’s been said many times that “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” I agree with that 100%. Although He has it all planned out, I should too.

If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?” – Steve Maraboli

It’s my responsibility to live my best life (albeit, in alignment with His will). Are you planning? Better yet, what are you planning for? Even more importantly, however, is the reason or purpose behind that plan.

Many of us can probably think back over our lives and recall some good times and bad times. I know I’ve thrown myself a few pity parties in my day. Maybe I had a blowout on my way to work. Maybe I was dealing with heartbreak after being in love. Maybe I was grieving the sickness or loss of a loved one. My immediate response is an inward, selfish one – “Why me?!?” Far too often, I make the things I go through about me. “Woe is me! These issues I’m dealing with are so awful! Life is sooo hard and unfair!”

*rolls eyes* Dear Kendra, GET OVER YOURSELF!

I’ve learned that every season, good and bad, has purpose beyond Kendra’s personal desires and timeline. Life might be all cookies and ice cream right now, or it may be brussel sprouts and sardines. (I think I might be hungry…Let’s try a better example…) You might be experiencing a beautiful season of sunshine and growth. On the other hand, you may be in a dark, dreary, cold, and rainy place. Whatever your season, know that God has it all planned out. And that plan is bigger than you.

During this birthday season, I’m doing my usual reflection, setting new goals, and making plans for my future; however, I’m changing my attitude. I’m painfully aware that my life is not my own. I am in the position I am in (good, bad, or otherwise) for 1.) God to be glorified and 2.) to help someone else. So, again, I ask “WHY ME?” I’m not asking out of frustration this time. Instead, I’m asking out of  gratitude and trust. I trust that all things are working for my good, and I’m grateful that God has put me in this particular situation to glorify Him.

Why me? What is it about me that God sees fit to use me? Why me? What am I to learn from this situation? How can I honor God in this situation and bless someone else? What is God teaching me through this? WHY ME??

I encourage you to make a God-ordained plan for yourself. In the midst of your journey towards manifesting that plan, have a “Why Me Attitude.” There’s purpose for every season, situation, and circumstance. Be open to asking and learning – “Why me?”

BeGreat! xoxo


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